u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
