I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
