i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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