I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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