Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
you win again, gameday.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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