Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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