Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
