my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Randomize
