I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
