I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
