Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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