Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
