every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Just high enough for therapy.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
