Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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