my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
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