No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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