Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Randomize
