My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Randomize
