you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
