we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
The feeling are messing with the penis
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
