I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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