Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
