I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize
