I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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