I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
