I like to think it a success when the cops are called
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
