i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
