I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
