I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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