Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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