I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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