I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
