just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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