This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
high people should be assigned attendants
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
