Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
