pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Randomize
