He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
