At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Randomize
