C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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