left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize
