There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
