puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Randomize