i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
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