Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
