So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
