Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
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