So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
