i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Randomize
