you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
