quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
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