We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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