I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
should my penis look like a turkey
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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