Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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