Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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